As a formerly-self-conscious person, I don’t want to make this sound as an easy peasy lemon squeezy life lesson or anything like that, believe me, I am the sort of person who can’t fall sleep before every major decision in their life, especially when it may affect others: ending a relationship, moving countries, the first time quitting a job…

In each one of these situations my mind always wondered whether I was making the biggest mistake of my life, and yet I always pushed myself to go through all those experiences, trusting the voice inside my head that said everything’s gonna be alright.

I am sure most of us have felt this way at some point or other, but I believe many of us don’t realise that we might actually be living a fearful life that is hindering our personal –as well as professional– growth. We are constantly haunted by the fear of offending a colleague or a friend, of hurting a relative or a lover, of disappointing a parent or a teacher; or by the fear of not fitting in, of not being the prettiest, the thinnest, the funniest… I have already talked about the incredibly unrealistic standards we are subjected to in modern society, particularly women, but this post got me rather thinking about how we face our fears (call it insecurities or whatever you prefer) and how we can overcome them.

I’d say the key is starting with baby steps. Following the proverbial Do one thing every day that scares you has worked so far for me, allowing me to push my limits ever so slightly every day. It may not look like a great progress in the beginning, but little by little your boundaries will get wider and wider until you are comfortable (or at least manage to) doing things you once feared. I hate driving, but this coming year I am committed to renewing my license and giving it another chance, because I cannot really expect Mr Vet to drive me around all my life and also I would like to be able to take myself to places, ya’know?

The truth is that it takes a hell of a lot of effort and practice to change this kind of mindset and if you are an introvert or a very self-conscious person, you might think trying to live boldly sounds as inviting as voluntarily stepping on a piece of Lego, and you would be on your d*mn right to think so!

However, please let me share with you a couple of things I’ve learned from overcoming my shyness after years of first/second-hand embarrassment and occasional social anxiety:

1. We tend to anticipate and magnify things in our head, but when the situation is actually happening, you realise 9 times out of 10 is not as bad as you had pictured it in your mind. If you are terrified of attending a particular social event, find a person you trust to go with you, so that you don’t have to face it alone and can feel supported.

2. Being bold sets you free from fear. Accepting the real fact that we cannot be liked by everyone should help us get rid of the constant fear of being judged by others and from the anguish of upsetting people with our actions or opinions. Developing a bold attitude in life will allow you to (respectfully) voice those opinions and trust your decisions, it being at work with colleagues or when talking to your partner or friends.

3. Bold doesn’t equal reckless, at least not in my books. Being bold means being able to take risks while knowing that yes, things can go wrong, but things can also work out perfectly and the only way to know the result is by actually taking the risk. You don’t wanna spend all your life wondering “what if…?”

4. Confidence is contagious. Oftentimes I’ve found that surrounding myself with bold people has boosted my own confidence. A clear example of this is my mum, a very confident and courageous woman whom I admire most than words can describe. I usually think that if these people have managed to do something I always thought I couldn’t do, perhaps I am limiting myself unnecessarily and I am also capable of achieving these things!

The good news for me is that the older I grow, the bolder and more confident in my decisions I become. Granted there will always be monsters to fight and insecurities to overcome, but I guess that years give you the perspective to distinguish between what’s important and what’s fluff, between what you can feel self-conscious about and what you cannot give a rat’s ass about anymore.

Fashion is of course one of those things that once worried me, when I was desperately trying to fit in, but even though I now embrace all aspects of it and I’m willing to take sartorial risks, it’s not rare to find people who are so afraid of wearing something they/others consider wouldn’t suit them, just for fear of getting stares or stepping out of their comfort zone. To these people I would ask what’s the worst that could happen?

C’mon, give it a go, test your boundaries and try to push them out. Living boldly is not difficult, it just requires practice!

Peace&Love

Saida

{Fabrica de Imaginacion mustard coat – DYI here} {ZARA men’s shirt}

{GAP UK jeans – customized step hem} {H&M loafers} {Luis Wiener exclusive ring – Visit his page}