One of the most discussed topics over the face of the Internet, I know, but something that resonates with every person that has a body –possibly paired with a mirror–, so I thought I would put on “paper” how I have been feeling lately vis a vis my bods.
While I am of the opinion that a positive mind reflects on the whole of your persona, I cannot hide the fact that, sometimes, the same mind plays tricks on me and makes me believe I am the grossest thing alive. OK, I might be exaggerating, but it does make me obsess over the width of my thighs, the roundness of my belly or the circumference of my waist. And that obsession in turn makes me count calories when I eat, refrain from having dessert and complain about my looks at the slightest opportunity. That’s what I call a self-confidence crisis.
Not that Mr Vet goes along with any of my self-deprecation, but he has to endure the painful self-loathing phase without being able to offer me chocolate as a pacifier. Tough, I know.
I can say that now that I am an adult, I have a rather healthy relationship with my body and try not be too harsh on myself on those low moments. I mean, I have my flaws and insecurities that I usually try to laugh off because, well, there is only one Kate Moss in the world and I am not her, but the good news is that there is only one me in the world and that makes me pretty special, wouldn’t you agree? 😉
However, despite all the positive thinking that I try to incorporate in my daily life, the truth is that with the years I’ve realised that I found the physical state that makes me happy, the one I feel most comfortable in and which enables me to act with confidence in every aspect of my life. With the years I have equally noticed that every time I shift away from it –due to high stress levels, an epic world trip or a particularly bad month–, I start putting my self-confidence in doubt and making changes as to regain that “perfect” state. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t start doubting ALL my abilities as a competent human being, but on some level, I do feel like I am failing at keeping my shit together and that everybody is noticing.
All of this got me thinking: is there such a thing as a perfect physical state or is it just me preferring a skinnier version of myself over the ever-so-slightly chubbier but still v. healthy counterpart? And then comes the deeper thought: do I prefer the skinny version because I truly feel healthier and more agile or because it’s the closest I can get to the beauty standards imposed by society?
Whichever it is, I rather not dwell on this moral dilemma, but be honest with myself and the reality is that I still have a way to go before fully believing in the proverbial “you are enough”. And in this occasion, as it’s often the case when walking the arduous self-love path, it’s not a matter of external validation.
People have not even noticed those few extra pounds that seem to weight more in my head than in the real world, yet I happen to be immersed in one of those cycles right now: not entirely happy with my looks and checking them food labels more often than not.
However this time round I am trying to be smarter about it. Yes, I am exercising and eating cleaner, but I am also learning not to obsess too much about the process. I am indulging myself when I feel like it, reading inspiring books and eating ice–cream whenever Mr Vet brings home my favourite flavour (cheesecake or pistacchio, for the record). I am learning not to compare myself to other girls on the ‘gram but to visualize my goals and recognize every small victory when it comes to meeting them.
The relationship with your body is one that will last a lifetime, so we better build a respectful and loving relationship rather than a diminishing and self-loathing one, don’t you think?
And of course, I am still enjoying shooting my blog posts because a) I missed them terribly while on our trip and b) they keep on encouraging me to step out and create something beautiful, something that brings me joy and that I can share with a community of equally beautiful creatures.
Tell me how you are feeling this week, glamistas, I would love to know…
Peace & Love
Saida
Ashleigh D'Mello
17th September 2018 at 3:10 amLoved this post babe. I totally struggle with episodes of self-doubt too, which totally sucks but it’s nice to look back at those moments and know that you can come out the other side and look at things in a positive way again!
Loving this outfit on you too – red and white is such a good combination!
Ashleigh x
http://www.ashleighdmello.com
Katya
5th September 2018 at 11:15 amConfidence is the best trend that will never ever fade. This is a really interesting post. By just looking at your blog, you are sure to be confident and beautiful.
StyleSprinter Blog by Katya Bychkova
Laura Mitbrodt
1st September 2018 at 1:01 amI love those pants, especially with that top
xo
http://www.laurajaneatelier.com
Laura Mitbrodt
1st September 2018 at 1:01 amI love those pants, especially with that top
xo
http://www.laurajaneatelier.com
Rach
29th August 2018 at 1:37 pmI definitely struggle with this, and through time I have learned to have a better relationship with my body. But I’m the same with you and still have my days despite all the positivity. By the way, I think you look incredible and I love your outfit!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Didier
27th August 2018 at 7:08 pmFunnily enough I was just writing about that (to come on the blog in the next couple of weeks). I think that we are all faced with so much scrutinization nowadays and judgement, mostly by ourselves. We constantly feel the need to compare ourselves and the way we look with others when truthfully, there is no need for that!
-Didier
http://www.didieryhc.com
Amy Arnold
27th August 2018 at 2:40 pmI definitely think we all struggle with this at times. You are gorgeous, and I always love your style. This outfit is amazing!
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
l'ambassadrice
27th August 2018 at 10:50 amSaida, I couldn’t agree more with you! Regardless of the way we look – and I think we owe ourselves to try to be the best version we can possibly be -, the most important thing about our bodies is still the relationship we have with them, and not how they look from the outside. I’m still trying to save the terrible relationship I once had with mine, and I’m proud to say we get along so much better nowadays. It all comes to us learning to be good and patience with ourselves, I think!
http://www.lambassadrice.com/
The Fashion Folks
26th August 2018 at 6:53 pmSuch a well-written post babe!! I agree that it’s so important to work on the relationship with your body as (you write), it lasts a lifetime. I think it sounds healthy to take care of you body as in working out, eating healthy, but also let it rest, get your 8 hours of sleep and eat for the soul too (like chocolate, wine or whatever you want at the moment). I think way too many are too harsh on themselves and their bodies. Your body is what’s keeping you alive, more or less, and THAT is something to value! Xx
http://www.thefashionfolks.com
Grace Sawford
26th August 2018 at 4:37 pmgirl, I LOVE your spirit! it’s such a beautiful blog post and I agree with you. there is only one you in the world and that makes YOU special! so inspiring! x
have a wonderful day!